Monday, May 21, 2012

"Sorry Folks... He's Taken!"

How often does this statement ring out in your home? In ours, it is said all the time. It reminds us to keep things in perspective and not take life too seriously. It is also a playful affirmation that we find each other lovable, even after a gaffe.

In honor of our 20 year anniversary on Wednesday, I'd like to profess to the world some of the reasons why I love my husband, Robert Simring:

He doesn't take himself too seriously.
Not many people can say their husband performed on stage in purple and black leopard print spandex pants in a (satirical) band. Once I saw the side of him that could goof around in public, I was hooked.
He is an excellent father. 
He has probably read more books on parenting than anyone else I know. He is engaged as a dad, and has an extremely close relationship with our daughter. He was also the primary stay-at-home caregiver for her when she was an infant and I worked more than full-time. These days, he is the one responsible to get her to school, and spends time with her after school. She knows she is lucky and appreciates all of his attention and love.
He is talented.
He is a humble musician who is full of talent. His range of abilities has allowed him to woo me by playing classical piano, to playing electric and upright bass for reggae & pop bands, as well as numerous musicals, and to play Chapman stick & electric zither (and bass & guitar) for Blue Man Group for the last 16 years. He has performed for millions of people, and to him it is all in a day's work.
He is creative.
Not only is he a musician, but he also is a visual artist. He has a unique style of drawing that he honed years ago.
He is committed to constant self-improvement and learning.
I guarantee you haven't met anyone who works harder at this than he does.
He is generous.
He gives his time to help others in need, to volunteer at our daughter's school, at our temple and for local organizations.
He has strong convictions.
He supports causes he believes in, writes to politicians, and has been able to live a healthy vegetarian life for many years now. I admire this and wish I could give up the little poultry I do eat.
He's hot.
He is really handsome! He had a ponytail for 18 of our years together, but I do think the short haircut he sports these days is very becoming. After he got the chop, I started calling him "my cute new boyfriend," until we realized that weird rumors might start at our daughter's school if I kept it up.
He takes care of me.
He is an excellent care giver. I grew up as an overly independent person, but have learned to enjoy receiving his care and attention. Especially now that I am back in school, he has stepped it up even more.
He takes care of us.
He goes the extra mile with our daughter. He makes sure we spend time together, even when schedules are insane.
He takes care of others.
God help the kid on the playground who is caught mistreating someone. Rob's death glare is unparalleled and has magical powers to stop mean kids in their tracks.
He takes care of the house.
He cooks and does the dishes. He's in charge of most of the bills. He makes sure we get the recycling out, helps shovel the driveway and rakes the leaves.
He likes to laugh.
We have a great time together being silly. Our daughter inherited this gene, and as a trio, we have a rollicking good time together.
He's a New York transplant.
My family is dominated by folks from New England and New York. It fits that I fell in love with a New Yorker. Thankfully, his allegiances are reformed. He roots for the Red Sox now.
He likes diners.
Our honeymoon was a cross-country road trip. We ate at many diners along the way and enjoyed every meal. We enjoy when our schedules allow for breakfast dates out at a number of local diners.
He likes breakfast.
This may sound redundant, but is not.  He has become the master of weekend brunch making. His challah French toast is my favorite. Our family schedule does not allow for many dinners all together, but weekend brunches are special to us.
He's my hero.
He is my spider-in-the-house remover. And after it is released outside unharmed, he is allowed to sing with arms outstretched, Peter Cetera's "I am the man who will fight for your honor..." to me.
He's got manners.
He has a high standard for how people should be treated and pays it forward. He is the first to remember to write a thank you card (a skill that admittedly eludes me). He is respectful of others and models to kids that he expects it in return.
He values education.
He has something like eleven years of college under his belt, but never stuffs his knowledge in anyone's face. He supports my continued learning, helps our daughter with her homework and has even considered the idea of taking the lead on home-schooling her in the future.
He's a big kid.
He's not one to pass up a squirt gun fight or snowball fight with the neighborhood kids.
He can apologize.
He knows when to say he is sorry or if he needs to reflect more on something that didn't go as planned.
He's from a tight-knit family.
He is from a family that values sticking by one another no matter what. I have met amazing people in this clan who are inspirational to me in a variety of ways. They all take the time to keep in touch and have provided our daughter a rich array of grandparents, aunts, uncles and three generations of cousins!
He remembers.
He remembers everything. After so much time together, we have developed our own vocabulary for things that would make sense to no one else.
He is romantic.
He is great at bringing home flowers for a special occasion or for no reason at all. When we were dating, he would show up at my workplace with roses for me.

Perhaps you think this profession of love is not pertinent to genealogy, but I would disagree. Love is the building block from which families grow. This is a statement of how our family works, and documents for posterity, a snapshot of my amazing husband. Some genealogists spend so much time researching the past, they forget to document the present. Take some time to write down what it is you love about your spouse, partner or family member. After sharing it, put a copy with your family records.


How does one reach a major milestone like a 20 year anniversary? By hard work, commitment, respect, love and wicked sense of humor. Like all couples, we have seen our share of victories and challenges, joys and sorrows. What has been the glue to our relationship is how much we care, and how much we enjoy making each other laugh.  


On Wednesday, May 23, 2012, Rob and I will celebrate our 20th Anniversary. You may be thinking this is one of those "Emerson math" moments because we got married in 1998. No, I am one of the Emersonians who is good at math and, yes, our 14th wedding anniversary is 2 weeks away on June 7th.  May 23rd is the day we started dating at the end of my junior year of college, in 1992. Rob has wished me a "Happy Anniversary" every month since.

As you can see, I am one lucky lady. All that's left to say is... "Sorry folks, he's taken!"

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