Unique Mother's Day Gift

There is no way I will ever be able to top my Mother's Day gift from last year.

Now, my mother isn't one to collect stuff. She prefers that people don't spend money on gifts, because she would rather spend time together sharing experiences or homemade goodies. My "mummy" is a saint who deserves all good things and more. I was delighted that last year, I was able to give her the best gift ever. Besides serendipity, it required nothing more than a little research and planning. It didn't cost any money, it didn't take up space in her house, and it certainly was filled with quality time together. And, the gift will keep on giving.

The story unfolds in my beautiful home town of Northampton, Massachusetts. I grew up only a short walk along the Mill River from historic Smith College, and much of my childhood was spent playing hide-and-seek on their gorgeous campus. Every winter I skated on Paradise Pond, and every spring I ran through their gardens. In the summer, I took swimming lessons in the Smith pool, and in the fall, I would trick-or-treat at the home of the Smith President, because she was the only one in the neighborhood to give out full-size candy bars.

Most of my babysitters were Smithies, although my favorite was the daughter of local family friends. My family hosted two Malaysian sisters who attended Smith for a total of eight years. I know the cool stories about the campus, like on which swing Elizabeth Taylor sat when she filmed Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf. I know in which dorms Sylvia Plath and Julie Nixon lived. I even knew which dorm was rumored to have a secret escape passage from the days of "Indian attacks." To this day, when I hear someone say, "Smith? Isn't that a girls' school?" My automatic response is "No. It is a women's college."

Many of my life milestones happened on Smith's campus. All of my choral concerts and dance recitals were held in Sage Hall, and my high school graduation was in John M. Greene Hall.  My violin recitals and other special events were held in the multi-purpose, non-denominational Helen Hills Hills Campus Chapel, so named for a woman who infamously married her cousin and took his name. "Helen Hills" is the quintessential New England little white chapel on a hill.  Because I attended Smith's "Campus School" at Gill Hall for two years, this was good enough to qualify me as an alumna, which allowed me to use the chapel for my wedding ceremony!

I have no traditional ties to the college's history, but given how much time I've spent there, it has always felt like a second home. I am proud to know so much about the history of my home town and Smith College. After high school, I attended Emerson College, and have lived in the Boston area ever since. Yet, I am grateful that my mother still lives in my old neighborhood, so that I have an excuse to visit frequently.

A few years ago, my mother gave me copies of her families' extensive family trees and, like every genealogist, I wanted to know more. Because both of my parents were New Yorkers, I never thought much about my Boston roots. On a spring day last year, it occurred to me to research my maternal grandmother's Boston-based family, the Stephensons.  I thought maybe I'd have an excuse to visit some cool historic building downtown to see some old documents.  You could have knocked me over with a feather when I found out that, of all places on Earth, the Smith College Archives hosts a vast collection on the Stephenson family of Boston. How had I missed that?!

I'd heard lore that we were somehow connected by marriage to the famous abolitionist William Lloyd Garrison, Jr., and I knew his papers were kept at Smith. Apparently, the Stephenson papers are kept in a related collection! There were no digital images online, save for some paper dolls my artist uncle had designed. But I knew I'd hit the jackpot when I found the overview listing the contents: photos, wills, land grants, genealogy charts, and even cookbooks and diaries.

Clearly, I pay attention when people share history lessons with me, and I'd never ever heard about this treasure trove. My mother couldn't possibly have known about this or we'd have visited it by now. Instantly, I wanted to share the news with my mom, but I used restraint. I decided a trip to the archives would be the best gift I'd ever be able to give her for Mother's Day.

I brought her to the Smith College Archives and made her close her eyes as they brought out all of the many boxes of files. We put on the required white cotton gloves and I quickly found the diary I was seeking. I wouldn't let her open her eyes until it was in her hands. She never saw it coming.

Voila! I let my mom know she was holding the original handwritten diary of her great grandmother Lucinda "Luda" Warner Grant Stephenson. The brown leather cover has Luda's name in embossed in gold. Her writing spanned the time when she was being courted by my great-great-grandfather Benjamin Turner Stephenson, Jr. in the late 1860s. It turned out this diary was just the tip of the iceberg.

We found hand-written cookbooks from 1690 with fabulous recipes using long-forgotten ingredients and measurement units. We found photos ranging from tin-types taken during the Civil War, to fancy studio portraits, to casual snapshots of my great-grandmother Madge Stephenson (née Madge Condit Lovell) holding first-born daughter Nancy on her front lawn.  We found original hand-written business contracts that showed my great-great-great-grandfather Benjamin Turner Stephenson, Sr. ending business ties with his partners Mr. Jordan & Mr. Marsh so that he could start his own retail store. Bostonians will understand why that last item is bittersweet.

We even found correspondence from my grandmother Lee Carlisle (née Ruth Stephenson) to her aunt Edith Garrison containing a photo of  Candace Carlisle, my own mother, as a New York debutante in the 1960's! This is an ironic photo to preserve because she ultimately became a down-to-earth public school music teacher and all-around nature lover who settled in Northampton. Imagine finding a photo of yourself in someone else's archives!

It was bizarre to discover that my family history was right next to me on the Smith campus all along, and no one in the family knew it until more than twenty years after I left home. If Smith hadn't cataloged the collection and posted it online, we would have never known. I am now a believer in the importance of document preservation and access to archives!

We surmise that the college became interested in my family because they are the official repository of William Lloyd Garrison, Jr. His son, William Lloyd Garrison, III married Edith Alice Stephenson, the sister of my great-grandfather Barton Kingman Stephenson. Unbeknownst to us, Edith had been the record-keeper of family treasures. When she died, her entire collection was donated to the college.

The are at least six generations of Stephenson records, plus some bonus files on my Lovell, Warner, and Grant family lines. We feel blessed that these records exist and are available to us. I am relieved to know they are in good hands and accessible to all my distant cousins. And I am truly grateful to have found them. Our most incredible day felt like a gift from the universe: these items survived for hundreds of years, they were in amazing condition, and were only a few blocks from my childhood home. My family truly has a permanent home at Smith College.

I will never be able to top that Mother's Day gift, but I don't need to try. My mother and I still enjoy going back to the archives when we can, because we haven't seen everything yet. There is so much to read, it will take us years of visits to get through it all. On my next trip, I plan to check if Luda made any mention of her 4th cousin Ulysses S. Grant in her diary, since he was the president at that time!

Yet again, I am reminded of how blessed I am in so many ways. While I have almost no access to any documents from my paternal side, save for print-outs of a few microfilmed vital records, I do have access to priceless treasures from my maternal side. I am taking the time to understand my complete family history, so I can share it with my child. As a mother, it is my gift to her.

I'd like to encourage anyone reading this to take a moment with your family this Mother's Day, and ask the questions you never asked (but always meant to). Write down the stories you learn, or better yet, grab your video camera or smart phone and film the story teller(s). If your mom is no longer alive, ask questions about her. There is always more to learn. If you have someone in your life who served as a surrogate mom, take time to honor her, too. Write down some of your favorite memories, proudest moments, and words of wisdom, and then share them with your family. If you have no children of your own, share your stories with your nieces, nephews, and cousins.

The best gift we can ever give ourselves and our families is to keep our shared history alive. May you all enjoy a meaningful Mother's Day!